The Importance of Connection
Last week, amidst the endless stream of news and an ever-growing workload, I felt the urge to create a space for connection—without planning another elaborate event. As Executive Director of Cincy Girls Who, I have dedicated the past three years to uniting women through casual meetups and relaxed gatherings. However, with our calendar on a winter break for some much-needed mental rest and planning, I needed a fresh approach.
Rethinking Galentine's Day
At this time of year, everything bursts into red and pink for couples, while "Galentine's" events fill the scene, compelling women to spend money at various workshops and gatherings. I didn’t want to add to the noise. I also knew I didn’t have the energy to orchestrate something grand. Still, my goal was to foster connection.
So, I launched a simple Google Form. With no budget and no major marketing effort, I posted a quick update on social media along with a few engaging Instagram stories. The idea? Match women with others in the city for a casual “Galentine’s” friend date.
The Ask Was Simple
What’s your vibe?
What’s your energy level?
What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
What days work best for you?
I kept the questions brief. I understand how decision fatigue can halt people before they even start. The goal was straightforward and aligned with our mission at CGW: reduce the friction and make connection easier.
A Surprising Response
I was astounded by how many women signed up in just two days. Typically, we see 70-100 at in-person events, so I anticipated a similar turnout. Though I knew people sought connection, I was unprepared for the overwhelming response:
434 Women.
That’s 434 women actively seeking a new friend. 434 women taking a brave step toward something new. 434 women who, in just a few days, will be paired with another who feels the same longing for connection.
What This Tells Us About Showing Up
The Challenges of Making Adult Friendships
➡ Making friends as an adult is tough. It doesn’t happen organically; we must deliberately create opportunities to meet others.
➡ People aren’t looking for crowds. They desire that singular connection—a walking buddy, a coffee date, or a friend who truly understands them.
➡ We need spaces that prioritize friendships. Just as we invest in dating or networking, we should also prioritize meaningful friendships.
Here’s a startling thought:
💡 If 434 women signed up, how many more are out there craving connection but feeling too nervous to take the first step?
And why does that first step feel so intimidating?
The Barriers to Showing Up (And How to Reframe Them)
1. Fear of Failure (or Looking Foolish)
"What if no one responds? What if it doesn’t work? What if I embarrass myself?"
Our brains naturally avoid rejection, making the unknown feel risky—even when the stakes are low.
📌 Reframe It: What if it does work? What if one small step transforms everything?
2. Fear of Being the Only One
When we take the initiative, we often feel isolated—and that can be frightening.
But look at our numbers. 434 women signed up. People crave connection; they just need someone to take the lead.
📌 Reframe It: You’re not alone in what you want; you’re simply the first person willing to act on it.
3. Decision Paralysis & Overthinking
"What’s the best way to do this? Is this the right time? Should I wait until I’m ready?"
The longer we hesitate, the more daunting it becomes. Overthinking often leads to inaction.
📌 Reframe It: Clarity comes from action, not waiting for a flawless plan.
4. Self-Doubt: “Who Am I to Do This?”
"What if I’m not qualified? What if I don’t know what to say?"
We often assume that someone more experienced should take the lead. However, leadership isn't about knowing everything—it’s about showing up and trying.
📌 Reframe It: If not you, then who? Your willingness to try matters, and that alone is enough.
5. Comfort Zone Resistance
"What if it’s awkward? What if I don’t know what to say?"
Sticking to familiar routines can seem safe, even if they’re unsatisfying. Yet, change isn't possible unless we step outside our comfort zone.
📌 Reframe It: Discomfort is the price of growth. The hardest part is deciding to take that leap.
Journal Prompts: Showing Up & Taking the First Step
📝 1. What’s something you’ve been delaying?
What’s holding you back?
What’s one small step you could take today?
If fear weren’t a factor, how would you move forward?
📝 2. Recall a time you embraced something new.
What emotions did you feel before, during, and after?
What happened as a result?
How can this experience remind you that showing up is always worthwhile?
📝 3. Who do you wish to connect with on a deeper level?
Is there a friend or new acquaintance you’ve intended to reach out to?
What’s preventing you from making the move?
What’s a small action you could take today to initiate that conversation?
Reflection
Remember, showing up isn't about being flawless. It's about taking action, no matter how small. Connection begins with the courage to step out of your comfort zone and reach out to others. Checking in with your feelings and those around you can lead to profound changes that transform our interactions and relationships.
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